FROM THAT PLACE, AS SOON AS MY EYES ARE OPEN, I CAN NO LONGER ESCAPE. NOT THAT I AM NAILED DOWN BY IT, SINCE AFTER ALL I CAN NOT ONLY MOVE, SHIFT, BUT I CAN ALSO MOVE IT, SHIFT IT, CHANGE ITS PLACE, THE ONLY THINGS IS THIS: I CANNOT MOVE WITHOUT IT. I CANNOT LEAVE IT THERE WHERE IT IS, SO THAT I; MYSELF, MAY GO ELSEWHERE. I CAN GO TO THE OTHER END OF THE WORLD; I CAN HIDE IN THE MORNING UNDER THE COVERS, MAKE MYSELF AS SMALL AS POSSIBLE. I CAN EVEN LET MYSELF MELT UNDER THE SUN AT THE BEACH-IT WILL ALWAYS BE THERE. WHERE I AM. IT IS HERE, IRREPARABLY: IT IS NEVER ELSEWHERE. MY BODY, IT’S THE OPPOSITE OF UTOPIA: THAT WHICH IS NEVER UNDER DIFFERENCE SKIES. IT IS THE ABSOLUTE PLACE, THE LITTLE FRAGMENT OF SPACE WHERE I AM, LITERALLY, EMBODIED. MY BODY, PITILESS PLACE.
“Suppose I were to give you a key ring […] with a hundred keys, and I was to tell you that one of these keys will unlock it, this door we’re imagining opening in onto all you want to be, as a player. How many of the keys would you be willing to try?’
‘Well I’d try every darn one,’ Rader tells Lyle.
‘Then you are willing to make mistakes, you see. You are saying you will accept 99% error. The paralyzed perfectionist you say you are would stand there before that door. Jingling the keys. Afraid to try the first key.”
― David Foster Wallace, Infinite Jest
” IS IT IMPORTANT TO BE A SEER? MAKE ONESELF A SEER? THE ARTIST BECOMES A SEER THROUGH A LONG, BOUNDLESS AND REASONED EXPLOSION OF ALL THE SENSES. ALL SHAPES OF LOVE SUFFERING AND ALL KINDS OF MADNESS. HE SEARCHES HIMSELF, HE EXHAUSTS ALL POISONS IN HIMSELF, TO PURE HIS UNIQUE QUINTESSENCES. A HEAVY TORTURE WHERE HE BECOMES AMONG ALL MEN THE GREAT PATIENT, THE GREAT CRIMINAL, THE GREAT ACCUSED ONE -AND THE SUPREME SCHOLAR! THUS HE REACHES THE UNKNOWN!… -THE ARTIST, A THIEF OF FIRE! “